Self-Criticism is when you judge yourself too harshly and too often. Let’s explore 10 signs you may be too self-critical. Does this sound like you? Read on to find out.
Let me just start by saying, I am too self-critical.
In fact, as I am writing this, my daughter came into the room and we started talking about a video I just finished editing. I told her I wasn’t sure I wanted to post it. She asked me why not. My immediate response was “because I look ugly and sound too scripted.” I went on to say how much I hate seeing myself on camera because I look so terrible and all I see are my flaws and that’s all everyone else will see too.
After a few minutes, I started rereading what I had written here and was stricken by a harsh reality.
I said to her, “how ironic is this?” I am sitting here complaining about my shortcomings while writing a post about the 10 signs you may be too self-critical.
But it just goes to show you, that your self-improvement journey isn’t one with a destination. You never get to the end and say, oh good, that’s done.
It is a perpetual expedition where you will falter then have to repeat your actions time and time again.
Self-criticism is something I have struggled with my entire life and will continue to do so. Being mindful of the struggle helps me to identify it when it happens and try to overcome it, even if it’s only for a little while.
What does it mean to be self-critical?
Self-criticism is when you are being too hard on yourself and finding that you are lacking in some area of your life. Like you don’t quite measure up to others. It’s that voice in your head that is telling you that you aren’t good enough. That you’re too dumb, too short, too ugly.
It’s also a belief that you are going to fail. Which then causes you to not want to try in the first place. You can’t fail and what you don’t attempt, right?
10 signs you may be too self-critical
- You never say it right. This is a belief that you can’t articulate or express yourself properly. Maybe you feel like you stumble over your words or just simply can’t find the right words to say.
- You suck at everything. I mean who got the talent gene in your family anyway? Not you, apparently.
- You take the blame. When things go wrong, you blame yourself and you ignore the fact that something or someone else is actually at fault.
- You compare yourself to others. You’re constantly watching what other people are doing and measuring yourself against them, oftentimes feeling like you come up short.
- You have impossibly high expectations. You feel like you are a failure because you expect too much from yourself. More than that, your expectations are unrealistic and unreachable.
- You never feel contented. You can’t see your achievements as successes. Instead, you pick them apart to find all the flaws in them.
- You don’t like your body or physical appearance. Okay, so everyone has something they don’t like about themselves, that’s normal. This goes way beyond that though, this is more like saying I am hideous, no one would ever find me attractive. It’s way more than just saying, “Eww, I don’t like this mole on my neck.”
- You won’t accept help. Or ask for it either. The reason behind this is that by seeking out help, you then feel like you are weak or incapable.
- You can’t accept compliments. When you receive a compliment, you automatically dismiss it then point out a flaw you have. For example, “Ooo, I love your new haircut, Jenny!”, and you say, “Yeah, except now you can see my giant forehead better!”
- You get defensive. If anyone points out a mistake you made or tries to help you improve by offering feedback, you immediately get frustrated and defensive.
Okay. So the moment of truth. How did you do?
If you could relate to five or more of those, then you definitely are too critical of yourself.
Not to worry though. Now that you know, you have an opportunity to do something about it. It’s time for a mindset change!
Here are some things you can practice to help you overcome those negative thoughts:
- Treat yourself the same way you would treat others. This is a twist on the “treat others the way you’d want to be treated”. Would you point out other people’s flaws to them or tell them they are ugly? Of course, you wouldn’t!
- Stop verbally abusing yourself. By telling yourself you will fail, you will end up doing just that. Try instead to be encouraging and motivating. Practice saying you got this or good job.
- Focus on your accomplishments. Make a list of 10 things you’ve done that you can be proud of. This can be anything from maintaining a clean house, buying the car of your dreams, to having the family you always wanted.
- Accept your mistakes. Acknowledge that you will make mistakes and that instead of letting them discourage you, you will learn from them.
Remember, the next time you realize you are being too self-critical, acknowledge it, then turn it around and focus on something positive instead. Even though you may not be able to completely stop the negativity, at least you can learn to not dwell within it.
Did you know that having low self-esteem and a lack of confidence goes hand in hand with self-criticism? Would you like to learn how to overcome these obstacles in your life? Try my Self-Confidence Workshop!
This self-guided workshop will help you determine your confidence level, walk you through ways to improve your confidence, and set personal goals to help you improve yours. If you want to learn more about this workshop or sign-up for it now, you can do that below.
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