Develop Behaviors - Green Teas & Chick Peas

What do I mean when I say develop behaviors? First, let’s discuss what behaviors are. Behaviors are the way we act or respond to things or how we conduct ourselves. It is our observable mannerisms and actions.

So what kind of behavior am I referring to here?

Well, I’m actually talking about a few different things here. Mostly, I want to talk about how our mindset causes us to behave a certain way.

Some ways of thinking that can affect our behaviors are:

Self-confidence
Self-esteem
Mindset

You see we tend to fall into patterns of behaviors that affect many areas of our lives, you may not even be aware of how much.

Self-confidence

A lack of confidence can keep you from following your dreams or putting yourself out there. You can miss out on opportunities or relationships that may have been really good for you. When your self-confidence is shit, you don’t believe in yourself and it will show.

Having self-confidence is when you believe in yourself. It’s when you know you are capable of doing something, such as an ability to perform a task or trusting that you will use good judgment in any given situation.

Benefits of having self-confidence are:

Better relationships overall by being able to express what you need from the relationship and being confident enough to leave that relationship if your needs aren’t met.
More opportunities to try new things because you are confident in your abilities. So, you are less likely to think you can’t do something and open to new experiences.
More likely to achieve goals because you believe that you can and will. Going into a situation thinking you will fail almost guarantees that you will.

Ways to give your confidence a healthy boost:

Practice positive self-talk. Don’t let that voice in your head talk you out of things you want. When negativity pops up, think of ways to turn them into positives. Rather than thinking “I will fail”, instead, think “I will succeed”. It will take some practice, but eventually, those voices will quiet down.
Learn to forgive yourself and move on. I am willing to bet you have a least 3 things from your past that you haven’t forgiven yourself for. Three things that have been circling around in your head filling you with regret. Do yourself a favor and forgive yourself for those things right now, then promise yourself you will forget about them and look to the future.
Practice gratitude every day. Placing your focus on what you have to be grateful for helps you to see your accomplishments. Once you place a focus on those, you will find your confidence getting stronger.
Take care of your body. When your body isn’t performing at its best, your confidence can suffer. Be sure to eat right, move more, and keep health check-ups at the top of your list.

Self-esteem

It’s easy to confuse self-confidence for self-esteem, but while they work together, they are not exactly the same thing.

Self-confidence is knowing you can do it and believing in your abilities, however, self-esteem is more about the opinion you have of yourself. If you have low self-esteem, you have a low opinion of yourself which can affect your self-confidence.

Self-esteem is a person’s beliefs and feelings about their own worth. Self-esteem influences the choices and decisions you make in your life.

Having healthy self-esteem means you have a strong sense of self-worth and you understand and accept your weaknesses and celebrate your strengths.

Ways to improve your self-esteem:

Recognize the things you have to offer and embrace them.
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Be your true self. Don’t try to be who you think other people want you to be.
Try to stay focused on things you can control or change.
Give yourself little pats on the back for a job well done, even for the small things, such as getting to work on time today.
Compliment others on a job well done or a new hairstyle.
Don’t waste time worrying about your mistakes. Take a minute to address the mishap, then instead of worrying about it, forgive yourself for it, then move on to fixing it.

Mindset

Oh, this one is a biggie!

There are two types of mindsets, Growth Mindset and Fixed Mindset. Whichever type you have determines how you approach life in a big way.

Growth Mindset

People who have a growth mindset believe that people can change. They believe that skills can be learned and improved upon. That with hard work and determination, anything is possible.

If you have a growth mindset, you love a good challenge, nothing stands in the way of reaching your goals, you take feedback and use it to improve yourself, and you find inspiration in other people’s success.

With a growth mindset, you are more likely to seek out ways to improve yourself and your situation. You don’t need people telling you what a great job you’re doing because the results you see from your hard work give you all the reassurance you need.

Fixed Mindset

Those who have a more fixed mindset believe that you are born how you are born and there’s not much you can do to change it. Your talents, intelligence, and abilities are fixed from birth.

If your mindset if fixed, you may shy away from challenges, give up easily when things get tough, take feedback as criticism, and feel threatened by other people’s success.

You can see how having a fixed mindset might keep you from changing yourself and your situation because you don’t believe you can. Plus, you likely have surrounded yourself with people who boost your ego by telling you how great you are rather than challenging you to be even better.

These attitudes don’t have to control you. You can grow and change your mindset and build your confidence. Your mind is a powerful thing, it can build you up or bring you down, the choice is yours.

Want to learn more about how you can learn to develop behaviors you desire most?

Be sure to connect with me on Instagram @greenteasandchickpeas!